Accessibility to them and possibility of getting a response is directly proportional to your aggregate percentage…and inversely proportional to the row no of your seat[counting starts from front to back….gosh! had it been the other way round!!!!!]. They are like seasonal vegetables….we eat these brains only during exams. They are like chief guests….centre of attraction and away from action[action of course takes place in the backbenches]. They eat books ….drink ink…..and breath chalk powder on the first bench. They are toppers !
Toppers. They are a rare species. They are the lions of the jungle. The beast ! These carnivorous living beings eat out your head until you succumb and your grades die out in the viva. Lioness is better at praying than a lion. Following this analogy, the toppers also predominantly consist of the fairer sex. These Hermoine like girls always give other scholars [err, losers] a run for their money. They are peculiar, Identifying these people from a distance requires one to have a look at their attire….if somebody seems like first year ragging-afraid student, with a book , file ,or assignment pages hand-held , then there is a high probability of him/her being a member of this elite class. Other necessary and sufficient symptoms for identification are: spectacles[myopic of course!] , raised hand in classes, marks in midsem>=20, and-band beautiful handwriting, and variable x tending to 100% where x denotes attendance. The surroundings of these geeks is comparable to quinine…..good for health , bitter , and avoided in cheerful health.
Humour creeps into the situation when these are nominated as class representatives, while the rest of the class is classier [I am biased….can’t help it!]. They are also student representatives….rightly so, coz they probably are the only ones who can be referred to as students. The others better be referred as attendants [;)]
Attendants. The crowd ,the mob , individuals working in perfect harmony of an unbeatable team whose one and only aim is to survive. To Survive the hailstorms of shortlists [of attendance] , to survive the dreaded dragons in form of teachers who spit fire in words when an innocent attendant comes late to attend the massacre, and to survive the unnecessary semesters that somehow always manage to fall in between the prescribed sem-breaks [;)] . They have survived and they have flourished as a race, casting spells over upcoming innocent students and comminating them to expand their own race. Outside the classroom, they are the kings, living life on their own terms , obeying no one but their selves. Over the years they have outnumbered and outclassed the toppers but still they could not make their rivals extinct. The toppers still rule and continue to pass on the throne among generations.
Teachers, have the perception that toppers are god sent and attendants probably must have grown out of wild shrubs mushrooming down the road side. If topper commits a mistake, its perfectly human! If the guilty is an attendant then he better shield his butt…coz a kick is just coming in! Teachers are mentors for toppers, they are gods …second to none. To attendants they are like vampires that suck fun out of their veins. Teachers are biased ! For an example If someone inks into pages an answer that has already been penned down by the author of the book then what good is he? But still he[sorry to the she-toppers…U r gods too :D] gets the grades .On the other hand the innocent and morally correct [so called farzi] attendants who do not copy the text thus abiding by the patent agreement of the publisher get low grades because they follow the rules. Not fair!! [:)]
Thus ,with the referee[teachers] on their side, the toppers have dominated thus far .But with the arrival of newer and farzier teachers[छर्रे !! ] ,the tussle is getting more fierce day after another .The war between the two races will probably continue till eternity, and the farzis will just hope that some day they have their own king….The king of attendants. That day engineers will rule the world and the era of knowledge will doom!